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About communication

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Milton Erickson, who was one of the world?s greatest hypnotherapists stated:

“ The quality of our lives is the quality of our communication?”

Communication between human beings can often be a complex, confusing and sometimes frustrating process, for it involves the sharing and mutual understanding of thought in all its manifested forms - writing, music, art, speech etc. Ultimately, communication is about the integration of information, ideas, experiences, messages and signals between people in such a way that they are presented in a way that makes sense, and received in the way that was intend.

Something that is not often, and indeed by some never, considered, is another aspect of communication. It is one which ultimately, in my opinion, IS communication. What I am specifically referring to is self-communication, that process which totally and unreservedly instigates, controls, monitors and maintains our communication with the outside world. It is this process that accepts, rejects or modifies meanings to events, anchors, states, models and the mental programmes that make us who we are as individuals and as an integral part of the society in which we operate as biological beings.

Throughout the course of our lives, millions (if not billions) of messages are received, filtered and processed, primarily subconsciously, by our mind. For the most part we act or react unconsciously and out of habit to this input. Whilst this may be natural, desirable, and indeed necessary for our survival and mental stability (sanity), this process does not always serve us best, for we are not always conscious of what we are doing. Subsequently, we do not always consider, monitor or evaluate our actions. Nor do we  think about which messages are desirable, undesirable or indeed good or bad for our well-being, happiness or future satisfaction.

Psychiatrists and psychologists tell us that we communicate with ourselves for something like 75% of our time - but what is important is the quality of that communication.

We have seen how our mental processes are affected by such factors as state of mind, anchors, the meaning that we give to events and the beliefs and values which we embrace, but how do we actually make sense of our world? What is it that enables or disables our understanding of everything that matters to us? What is it that enables or disables our understanding of other people, who they are, what they are, what they believe and what they are communicating to us? Ultimately, what else is it that is partly or wholly responsible for the misunderstanding and confusion that abounds in this world?

Perhaps the most empowering questions that we can ask ourselves is:

What is it that I need to know and understand about communication

that will enable me to communicate(that includes listening) better?

In other words, we need to know how different individuals make sense of their world - the one that exists  inside them.

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